Normal

I used to be a very expressive person. One that didn't think twice about being a human.

Then I got close to middle school.

In elementary school, maybe 4th/5th grade, we started to comprehend 'best friends'. We began friend groups and no one could come in, only get left out. We started caring about 'our image' and popularity. If you were one of the so-called 'cool' groups, you didn't have to care about popularity because it just seemed to fall in your lap, but for the rest of us- there was pure struggle. When we got to middle school (6th grade), our friend groups were either falling apart or impenetrable. But the bar of popularity was still hanging over our heads.

Once this propaganda officially sparked, my flame died. I was expected to be 'ordinary'. (Where'd that come from? Who thought of 'ordinary'? Can someone explain that term to me?) I became quiet. The Wall-flower. I laid low. When I got attention, I absorbed it, because I never got enough. (What is enough?) I became jealous of those with attention. When I did what I was told and exceeded the limit under the radar, I was looked over and the people that flaunted their 2 pieces of trash were praised. (I'm being passive-aggressive, but I swear I'm getting to the point- hold your horses).

Because of my under the radar behavior, I would have sudden bursts of energy that came off as "hey, look at me, I'm the center of attention and I'm better than you". This is what I was told, later on. These bursts came and went often. After such events, I was dubbed 'attention w----', 'princess', 'self absorbed', 'self conceited' and so on. May I clarify, I was told this face to face 4th grade to 6th grade.

When I learned to control this, I made friends and such, but I was still supposed to be 'normal'. And I was. Mind you, I was still the same person I was in elementary school so I had sporadic bursts. When my friends looked at me with stiff expressions, neglected me, left me for the odd-balls, I said "What are friends that don't accept you for who you are?" And I answered with "not friends."

This year, I found friends that I love, that support one another and will gladly open their arms to new members.

Who cares what ordinary is, let's just have each other's back.

On behalf of the kids that felt the same as I did; misplaced:

I'm passionate about the word "normal" being an insult to man-kind.

Until next time,

Emma